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- Title
- Never As Bad As Anticipated (Until It Is)
- Author
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bluflamingo- Prompt
- Big Bang 2008. Forks in the Road: Reunion - Sam isn't the one that gets chosen as leader.
- Summary
- Atlantis wasn't Cam's first choice for reassignment; he probably wasn't Atlantis' first choice for the new expedition leader either. Sometimes you work with what you've got anyway, even if what you've got includes seers, ill-advised rescue missions, replicators, Wraith in the city and John Sheppard.
- Pairing
- Mitchell/Sheppard (minor Emmagan/Kanaan, Brown/McKay)
- Rating
- R
- Word Count
- 72923 words
- Notes
- Many thanks to dossier, domtheknight, chase-acow, and mf-luder-xf for beta-ing.
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August 15 2008, 07:27:45 UTC 3 years ago
August 16 2008, 13:17:02 UTC 3 years ago
August 15 2008, 16:30:59 UTC 3 years ago
And then, of course, there's Cam. I really like the fact that he doesn't want to be there and how much he struggles, especially with McKay, and how much he doesn't want to be the Voice of Reason, but plays the role anyway because he knows someone has to.
The John/Cam material was wonderful, of course. Very hot. I like the way you have John calling him "Cameron" in this piece, which only his grandmother does. It's a nice touch. I'm not usually a fan of McShep in my John/Cam stuff, but I did like the way you dealt with that at the end.
It's a great story.
August 16 2008, 13:19:39 UTC 3 years ago
how much he doesn't want to be the Voice of Reason, but plays the role anyway because he knows someone has to.
He's a lot like John in a lot of ways, I think - he'll always try to save someone if he can, and having to be the person who says no must be really hard.
I'm not usually a fan of McShep in my John/Cam stuff, but I did like the way you dealt with that at the end.
No, I'm not either. Season 4 just made it really easy to imagine that John does have feelings for Rodney (and I kind of like the idea of him choosing Cam in the end despite his history with Rodney)
3 years ago
August 15 2008, 22:55:06 UTC 3 years ago
I loved how you didn't focus only on the Cam/John, but also got into the relationships all of them have with each other--it was interesting to see the Rodney-Cam and John-Teyla interactions play out. I thought everything was paced very well, culminating in the big happy feeling of belonging at the end.
August 16 2008, 13:21:27 UTC 3 years ago
You write Cam and John as such competent professionals that at first I couldn't even see how they would get together, but the relationship was very believable.
I actually intended for the first kiss to be the point where they started a relationship - they just wouldn't comply :)
culminating in the big happy feeling of belonging at the end.
I love endings where everyone's happy and belonging - I think it's probably part of why I like the show so much anyway.
August 16 2008, 02:40:02 UTC 3 years ago
While John and Cam being together was great, I absolutely adore the friendship aspects of it even more. The two of them fit together in such a great way both before and after they actually start sleeping with each other. I also really liked how close everyone else was, especially John with Teyla and Rodney, and of course Lorne (and Cadman, and Ronon, etc) was awesome.
With their relationship, I liked how they were sort of dancing around each other through the start and recognizing that it was probably a bad idea, and it made so much sense that John would go to Cam after the incident with Wallace. It really fits the two of them that they'd stay so professional even afterwards. The role Rodney played was great as well, starting with how Cam was the one secret that John kept from him. The way he and John were sorta-kinda is love and the fear Cam felt that John would leave him was really well handled, especially with how you had him accept that and then realize that John was choosing him anyways.
Finally, all the other characters were awesome. I really liked how you explored what Teyla was going through and built on what we've seen in the show, and that you slipped so much Ronon in as well. He can be hard to write, especially in fics that aren't from his POV, because it's such a balancing act ignoring him or just having him grunt and having him be too open. You did it perfectly. I think Woolsey was excellent, because he had a stick up his ass but was still a decent guy in the end. Finally, Lorne was awesomecakes, but then, when is he not?
Huh... so much for short thoughts.
August 16 2008, 02:44:06 UTC 3 years ago
3 years ago
3 years ago
August 17 2008, 04:34:38 UTC 3 years ago
I am so in love with you right now. This is how S4 should've happened. Has anyone done the DVD commentary yet? Because I'll do that one. I'm a huge Cam fan, so Cam/John pairings are always nice.
August 17 2008, 19:41:57 UTC 3 years ago
Has anyone done the DVD commentary yet? Because I'll do that one.
You are so incredibly welcome to do it, if you want (crazy person - there's 72,000 words of this!)
August 17 2008, 05:26:01 UTC 3 years ago
August 17 2008, 19:47:41 UTC 3 years ago
I think in part because you didn't just do a rehash of season 4 and just replace Sam with Cam.
My initial idea was that season 4 would be kind of a sub-plot to some (mythical) main plot; the problem with that is that Cam and Sam probably aren't all that different in how they'd do things, and my interest in rehashing the season with essentially someone else saying the same words is fairly minimal :)
I also like that John doesn't leap on Rodney's offer, even though the thing he has with Cam isn't very clearly defined.
I had that scene in my head from the beginning, because I knew I couldn't do season 4 without acknowledging that John and Rodney have something more than friendship, at least from John's point of view. I actually really like the idea of John choosing this new thing; that Rodney coming onto him is the catalyst for realising that he doesn't want to lose his relationship with Cam, whatever it's going to be.
I love how you bring Lorne and Cadman very much into this and the easy camaraderie between the people of Atlantis.
One of my favourite things to write is Atlantis-bonding, especially Lorne and Cadman's friendship:)
August 17 2008, 07:26:53 UTC 3 years ago
August 17 2008, 19:48:55 UTC 3 years ago
Anonymous
August 17 2008, 07:29:54 UTC 3 years ago
August 17 2008, 19:49:34 UTC 3 years ago
August 17 2008, 18:00:01 UTC 3 years ago
August 17 2008, 19:50:28 UTC 3 years ago
then it got recced all over the place
Realy?! Do you mind if I ask where?
August 17 2008, 21:11:44 UTC 3 years ago
Your friendships and pairings made me go "squee" a lot. I love Lorne & Cadman's friendship so much. The movie night description showed how much the people in the city have become a community and I giggled at Cadman's feet in Cam's lap.
The epilogue had me grinning like a loon too.
This bookmarked, favorited and at this rate I'm going to save a copy to my hard drive too. **APPLAUSE**
August 18 2008, 10:48:59 UTC 3 years ago
August 18 2008, 00:19:45 UTC 3 years ago
August 18 2008, 10:49:15 UTC 3 years ago
August 18 2008, 01:00:12 UTC 3 years ago
Totally loved how Cam started to fit into the Atlantis way of life, and how they started to accept him more. The back story between him and John is a nice addition.
Adored the epilogue. I must go back and read it multiple times due to my love for it. :)
(BTW - the mention of Lorne's FBI agent in LA - am I totally reading this wrong, or can I assume this is a shout out to Lorne's secret love affair with Colby Granger? I may assume this anyways, as it fills me with untold glee.)
August 18 2008, 10:50:08 UTC 3 years ago
(BTW - the mention of Lorne's FBI agent in LA - am I totally reading this wrong, or can I assume this is a shout out to Lorne's secret love affair with Colby Granger? I may assume this anyways, as it fills me with untold glee.)
Yes! I didn't think anyone other than a few people on my friends list, maybe, would pick that up. You've made me so happy :)
August 18 2008, 12:26:54 UTC 3 years ago
I felt sorry for Cam at the beginning, so I'm glad he finally began to feel like Atlantis was a home for him in the end.
Overall very enjoyable read and I like the way you change the events.
August 18 2008, 22:27:37 UTC 3 years ago
I felt sorry for Cam at the beginning, so I'm glad he finally began to feel like Atlantis was a home for him in the end.
I guess I was going for the contrast between the original Atlantis crew, who seemed to feel at home the moment they got there, and Cam, who already *had* a place he felt at home. So I'm glad it worked for you :)
August 18 2008, 23:35:11 UTC 3 years ago
August 19 2008, 23:08:17 UTC 3 years ago
August 19 2008, 03:52:38 UTC 3 years ago
August 19 2008, 23:09:03 UTC 3 years ago
August 19 2008, 19:06:58 UTC 3 years ago
I loved all of the little hints about how John felt towards Rodney before we were actually given the proof of the feelings firsthand. I especially loved the really natural way that the relationship between Cam and John developed, how their emerging feelings for each other were set against the backdrop of the events of season four unfolding in alternate ways.
The ending was probably my favorite part though as it left me with a feeling of coming full circle. John found his home in Atlantis, after being reluctant to take the mission in the first place and now Cam, after trying to turn down the command position, ended up finding his home their too, in the city, in its people, and, most of all, in John.
August 19 2008, 23:10:15 UTC 3 years ago
I loved all of the little hints about how John felt towards Rodney before we were actually given the proof of the feelings firsthand.
I drove my betas nuts with that - I think three of the four of them came back on the first draft and said, essentially, huh, I was sure John was interested in Lorne. So it's nice to know the rewrites worked :)
August 20 2008, 15:13:12 UTC 3 years ago
But what I enjoyed the most was Cameron and John. Cam's warmth is the perfect antidote to John's emotional isolation, and I think, John's love for Atlantis helps Cam finally feel at home there.
My favorite line -
"Because Rodney McKay, for all that he said he was a genius, was actually an idiot who hadn't managed to get this, even when John was in love with him. And Cam had."
Yay, you go Cam! I'm not usually a big fan of John pining for McKay, because in that scenario McKay's obliviousness highlights his smugness and self-absorbtion and makes me feel that John will never get anything he needs out of the relationship. Here though, I liked it. It made a good contrast to John and Cam's relationship. John was lucky to have Cameron and smart to choose him.
August 20 2008, 23:42:23 UTC 3 years ago
I'm not usually a big fan of John pining for McKay, because in that scenario McKay's obliviousness highlights his smugness and self-absorbtion and makes me feel that John will never get anything he needs out of the relationship.
I actually love stories where John's pining for Rodney, though it annoys me that it always works out in the end (because I'm weird like that :). I was aiming for 'Rodney knows how John feels, but doesn't let on, because he doesn't reciprocate and doesn't want to hurt John'. I'm not totally sure I hit that, but I'm glad you liked it anyway :)
August 20 2008, 23:23:12 UTC 3 years ago
The way you described how John and Cameron grew closer was both realistic and compelling, and the way you dealt with Rodney just blew me away. After season 4, I have a really hard time to *not* see John as at least a little in love with McKay, and I love that he did have those conflicted feelings for him in this fic. I love that he said no to him in the end even more, because John deserves better than to be Rodney's second choice, and Cameron deserves better than to be dropped like a hot potato the minute Rodney is on the rebound.
August 20 2008, 23:44:08 UTC 3 years ago
After season 4, I have a really hard time to *not* see John as at least a little in love with McKay, and I love that he did have those conflicted feelings for him in this fic.
And me; I couldn't imagine writing season 4 without that. The scene where Rodney offers and John turns him down was in my head from the very beginning, because I wanted that point where John explicitly says that he's got something else now, and doesn't want to give it up.
August 23 2008, 08:24:10 UTC 3 years ago
August 23 2008, 21:20:25 UTC 3 years ago
August 23 2008, 18:24:35 UTC 3 years ago
August 23 2008, 21:20:40 UTC 3 years ago
August 27 2008, 00:32:48 UTC 3 years ago
August 28 2008, 19:32:00 UTC 3 years ago
The scene between Shep and Cam was very poignant, very angsty, with Sheppard so vulnerable and shivery.
I love vulnerable Sheppard being comforted by people who care about him:)
August 30 2008, 00:36:48 UTC 3 years ago
September 2 2008, 15:06:15 UTC 3 years ago
September 8 2008, 16:44:05 UTC 3 years ago
I loved this story! I'm a big McShep fan, so it really proves just how much I loved John/Cameron that I cheered for John when he told Rodney to stop because he was with someone.
I loved seeing the familiar season four events from a new angle, how some of the things were completely different, yet others weren't really affected by Cam being there instead of Sam.
It was fun, if sometimes agonising and frustrating, to watch the slow build between John and Cameron and how they sometimes tried to dismiss their feelings, or deny them, yet other times couldn't stop themselves. I was pleased for John that he found someone he could unburden himself with. Events were really getting on top of him at times and he seemed like he might get swallowed up by guilt over Wallace or the unhappiness of fighting with Teyla, or even the misery of Rodney's ill-timed approach.
I felt really bad for John over that- something he'd longed for for years, and Rodney only clues in when it's too late, putting John in a difficult situation. I think he made the right choice, because, even if Rodney hadn't actually meant it that way, he really did seem like he'd defaulted to John after Katie turned him down.
I also liked seeing things from Cam's pov. It was nice to see Atlantis from an outsider pov again, but better still to watch him slowly stop being that outsider. Cadman was a great help in that department and made me smile. There was also his struggle to come to terms with being the 'stay at home' after having been in the field for so long. That was a huge adjustment for him to make, especially when he'd not wanted the position and hadn't felt at all prepared for his loss of gate travel. I think he learned to cope with the situation, probably helped by having Teyla to commiserate with.
I liked how you integrated Cam into the everyday and built relationships between him and the team, with Cadman, Lorne, Radek, Keller. It was obviously hard work to get him and Rodney talking, but I sometimes wondered if it was something subconcious about John and the various feelings floating around, or whether it was simply not meant to be. Even Rodney wouldn't dislike Cam so intensely for so long over the lemon incident!
I was glad that things settled down in the end, both professionally and personally.
This was a great story.
Laura.
September 8 2008, 21:13:43 UTC 3 years ago
It was fun, if sometimes agonising and frustrating, to watch the slow build between John and Cameron and how they sometimes tried to dismiss their feelings, or deny them, yet other times couldn't stop themselves.
God, tell me about it! They were supposed to get together when they first kissed, after the run on the replicator world, but it just wouldn't happen :-)
It was obviously hard work to get him and Rodney talking, but I sometimes wondered if it was something subconcious about John and the various feelings floating around, or whether it was simply not meant to be. Even Rodney wouldn't dislike Cam so intensely for so long over the lemon incident!
I think there's definitely an element, on Rodney's part, of pre-emptive jealousy, because Cam's got a lot of shared history with John, in terms of being in the Air Force, and what if John decides he wants to be Cam's friend instead of Rodney's? And there's also an element of grudge holding because he and Cam didn't get on when they first met, so Rodney's disinclined to like him, and now he's coming to Rodney's city, to be in charge, and replacing Elizabeth, who Rodney really liked and... yeah. They're never going to be friends, not really.
September 10 2008, 01:05:27 UTC 3 years ago
Your Cam is wonderful. He fits into canon so well, it's as if he had been there all along. The friendships/relationships among the others were all totally adorable and believable and fun to observe. I especially liked the last scene at the table with the not-so-oblivious Lanteans.
John is great here. Getting into that man's head is not easy but you pulled it off spectacularly. Letting himself need someone, and tell them he needs them, especially after the Henry Wallace incident, was unusual as we know canon-John, but completely believable nevertheless. My heart ached for him throughout the fic; he wanted to be with Cam but couldn't allow himself to start anything at first, and then when they were together he was conflicted by Rodney's bad timing. And yet John stayed with Cam. In another fic he would have gone to Rodney. Good for you for not going the obvious route.
Oh, I could babble for a while longer about this marvelous story but won't. ;-) Thank you for writing it. :))
September 10 2008, 21:46:00 UTC 3 years ago
It's taking me an inordinately long time to get around to reading the Big Bang fics.
And me - there's nine that I still want to read, but there's never enough *time*.
Letting himself need someone, and tell them he needs them, especially after the Henry Wallace incident, was unusual as we know canon-John, but completely believable nevertheless.
I guess I always see John as someone who wants to have someone he can go to and say, you know, I'm hurting, help me, but he feels like he doesn't have it, because even with his team, he has to be the strong one. But Cam's easy, because he's John's equal in rank, and he gets what John's going through. Plus, Cam just seems like he'd be a really comforting person.
And yet John stayed with Cam. In another fic he would have gone to Rodney. Good for you for not going the obvious route.
I'm absolutely a John/Cam girl, so it was always going to go that way, partly because I wanted a change from fics where John leaves whoever he's with for Rodney. And also because I just love John and Cam together :)
September 23 2008, 15:47:28 UTC 3 years ago
September 23 2008, 21:09:26 UTC 3 years ago
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